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12:17am 07/05/2008
  Gene Simmons Family Jewels » Ladies of the Night (Season 3 Episode 11) at LocateTV.com  
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09:29pm 18/02/2008
 
mood: thankful
Hi.

I don't know why the inspiration, but I'm feeling happy and loving and liberated. Life is so so short.

Enjoy it people.
 
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JARED CHAUSAW i love you dear friend but i dont know if i spelled your name right   
09:23pm 16/04/2007
 
mood: ohhh america, why
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
 
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I am proud to say:   
07:55am 17/12/2006
 
mood: stoked
I watch snl every saturday night.

i think the right word is proud... either that or embarassed. one of those.
 
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i embarass myself daily   
06:25am 09/11/2006
 
mood: what??????
i get embarassed that whenever i start disliking a job or just get frustrated, i sabotage myself by throwing crazy 'tude at anyone in my face. that's probably the best way to describe it. 'tude. it may be a fatal flaw, we'll have to see... we'll have to see if/when/how soon i end up on skid row in a tent. thinking about my career bums me out like major. like keanu.

this whole post is embarassing.
 
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04:54am 12/10/2006
 
mood: anxious
friday will be the happiest day of my life.

this is for all of you people reading: you dont realize how lucky you are, do you know that?? you dont realize how lucky you are to have a love of your life that lives in your town. because friday will be the first day of my life i can live with my love and i am going to cherish every second. you just dont know.

IM lucky.
we're lucky, don't you know?
 
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fuckin life, man   
11:31pm 04/10/2006
 
mood: awake
my kitten looks like the cat on the whiskas box. and i hope she knows it, too.

i am lucky to have the hottest boyfriend alive. and i hope he reads this someday and laughs because he knows it, too.

i dont have a clue what the hell im doing with my life. everyone knows that.

fuck 'em.
 
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job a-huntin'   
06:16pm 14/07/2006
 
mood: confused
today some man tried to push his card at me and, clearly, i didnt take it. but im pretty glad he slipped it in my purse anyways.

it says:

"TONE CAPONE 'THA BLACC CORLEONE'
XXX PERFORMER/DIRECTOR

Models wanted
Must be 18-30
w/2 forms of I.D.
$300-1200 per day"


honestly, who would take an unpaid internship when i could work for tha blacc corleone??
decisions schmecisions.


when it rains, it pours (call-backs.) in every way, shape, and form.
 
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12:58pm 13/07/2006
 
mood: heavy
i have every reason to believe that you get what you deserve in life.

i must have done something awful.
 
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to do   
01:52pm 20/06/2006
 
mood: nervous
because i cant find any pens in the rubble that is my house right now... this is just for me.

TODAY:
1. laundry
2. post office- mail letter/change address
3. deposit check
4. figure out finances!@#$!@%
5. call places to change my mailing address:
verizon
citizens
progressive
6. RESUMES until i have to go to work tonight
7. clean my messy life up.
 
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11:59pm 29/05/2006
 
mood: full of seaweed mmm
i agree with my horoscope: new beginnings are where im at. bitch.
 
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11:11pm 28/05/2006
  since livejournal is for things i cant say to people who dont read this livejournal....

im tired of being the caller. and being the kisser. i just want some dumb boy to come over and make out with me tonight.


thats sad.


in other news, i really missed corona beer.
 
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11:15pm 21/05/2006
 
mood: discontent
i am searching searching searching to find a little purpose in life. my heart is going to jump out of my body. i need to do something great. i need to find my something.

it's a lot to ask.
 
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06:38pm 06/05/2006
 
mood: anxious
i woke up in a shitty mood today. but then my roommate and i went and signed our loft lease and we walked down the street to pete's and i had a plate full of cheese fries. also we walked by a little market called Alina's Place. Pictures coming soon. Now I feel better but if I can't find someone to come to this art opening reception tonight im going to be pissed.

sincerely alina i need a nap
 
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dude   
05:07pm 21/04/2006
 
mood: nervous
i started a(nother) job today. at a sushi place called zipfusion where i serve hot artist boys.

round 2 is tonight.
wish me luck.
 
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01:26am 16/04/2006
 
mood: ok
tomorrow is easter. i will celebrate in my own way. it will be the first easter that i havent gone to church in... ever. but im excited to spend it spiritually my own way. i plan on taking a long long long walk on the beach. and i plan on eating canned corn and a veggie burger for easter dinner. ive never spent easter alone and thinking, but here goes.
 
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02:46am 15/04/2006
 
mood: sleepy
livejournal has become for things that i cant say out loud. in other words, things that no one around me physically can know.

im a little more down right now than everyone thinks. because a girl at work got promoted to the position that i took a step down from when i moved out here. i understand that there are politics at hand. and i understand she knows people i dont know. i understand that she's a nice person. i like her! i hung out with her without any mention of the fact that she is (essentially and unknowingly) stealing my job. what's worse is that i suggested we have a party tonight and it became a party for her going away! im trying hard to be a team player. to be the bigger person. to not get disheartened and give up. but it takes a toll nonetheless. and, it feels like a charade.


in slightly related news, i watched an oprah today about people who live on minimum wage. it made me cry but mainly it made me thankful. i really want to change the world.

in very related news:
INFJ - the counselor
You scored 18% I to E, 36% N to S, 33% F to T, and 36% J to P!
Your type is best summed up by the word "counselor", which belongs to the larger group of idealists. Only 2% of the population share your type. You are so empathic that you often know what others need before they know themselves. You are a complex person who can deal with complicated issues and people, almost prefer to, as you love problem solving. You can be something of an idealist or perfectionist, and should try to take yourself a little less seriously.
You are a supportive and insightful romantic partner, encouraging your mate to have dreams and work hard to make those dreams come true. Because you are so creative, you have a wealth of ideas to help them toward those goals. You need harmony so much that you are driven to resolve conflict quickly, as long as the terms don't violate your ethics. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires your creativity, trusts your inspirations, and respects your values. It is also vitally important that your partner be open and emotionally available - in other words, that they be willing to share themselves completely.
Your group summary: idealists (NF)
Your type summary: INFJ



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 25% on I to E

You scored higher than 42% on N to S

You scored higher than 27% on F to T

You scored higher than 27% on J to P


i hope everyone has a sunny easter, even if rain is your sun.
 
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11:45pm 11/04/2006
 
mood: really bummed. bummer.
I NEED A NEW JOB

and

I hate being alone right now.
 
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This Is Not a Metaphor   
12:30am 11/04/2006
  Once there was a young woman who shall remain nameless (and who shall also remain the writer.) This young writer happened upon a slightly-older-than-young man walking through a crowded concert crowd. She noticed, in order of head to toe, his gnarled and knotty hair, his ripped and plaided pants, and, above all (rather, below), his barren and bony feet. Too shy, too disgusted, our tragic author couldn't summon the courage to confront this tattered boyman. Luckily for her luck, he made the first move. A word, two words, then three, and a punctual pause: What's your number? From this point on, your neurotic narrator and her dirty dawg became not the best of friends, not the worst of friends, not even the best of enemies. They had an in-between-ness that subsisted solely on Sox. Your girl, our author, was not by any means unfamiliar with Sox. She had enough Sox, and several variations at that, to know the difference between good and bad, rough and sensual, clean and dirty Sox. Secretly, all the Sox she had ever had had been somewhat special and Sacred. To her. To the author. But she would never admit it afterwards. Out loud anyways. Even when it came to Sox she was quite quiet.

One day this scumball of a man decided his lady Author should give him some Sox. He didn't ask explicitly but he didn't have to. She knew what he wanted just by looking at him (and his lonely feet.) She gave it to him because she always had been a giver. Even when this pobrecita knew that he would take her Sox and leave. From her head to her heart to her toes, she knew when Sox didn't feel right. A lot of Sox later, prettylady just couldn't bring herself to give anymore. She had had it with the empty Sox requests- was that all she was good for? Just... Sox?

Fortunately, our dear girl refused to be used for Sox anymore. She quit all contact with this hard-footed man, although she is quite sure he will always be able to find some poor chiquita willing to give him the Sox he desires.

The moral of the story: Be smart. Have safe Sox. Or just... make love.
 
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01:57am 05/04/2006
 
mood: grumpy
i need to vent:


BETWEEN MY FUCKING RETARDED ROOMMATES AND MY FUCKING ASSHOLE INTERNSHIP AND NOT HAVING SLEPT MORE THAN FOUR HOURS AT A TIME SINCE LAST WED OR THURS OR I DONT KNOW WHEN AND WORKING RETAIL AND HATING DREAMWEAVER AND HATING MAKING ART THAT I DONT CARE ABOUT AND HATING NOT HAVING THE TIME OR ENERGY TO MAKE ART I DO CARE ABOUT AND BEING ALONE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS AND NO ONE EVER LIKING ME ADN FEELING UGLY AND STUPID ALL THE TIME AND WORKING SO HARD AND FEELING SO TIRED AND UGLY AND KNOWING IN MY HEART THAT I SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY ON THINGS THAT I SHOULDNT BE SPENDING MONEY ON AND MISSING MY FAMILY AND NOT HAVING ENOUGH ALONE TIME AND HAVING TOO MUCH ALONE TIME AND NOT HAVING ANYONE IN MY LIFE THAT I CAN EXPLAIN MYSELF TO AND GIVING MY ENERGY TO THE WORLD AND WANTING EVERYONE TO LIKE ME AND FEELING SO TIRED TIRED TIRED AND MY NECK ALL OF A SUDDEN HURTING LATELY AND NOT FEELING BETTER WITH TYLENOL AND HATING TO SEE STUPID SELFISH PEOPLE SUCCEED AND FEELING LIKE IM WORKING HARD FOR NOTHING AND NOT EVEN HAVING LOVE THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT AND FEELING LIKE I RUINED MY OWN CHANCES TO HAVE LOVE AGAIN AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO CARE ABOUT ANYMORE AND NOT FEELING LIKE A GOOD HUMAN BEING I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND IM TIRED! IM TIRED! IM TIRED.


and hating that i complain. and hating hwo jealous i am. how bitter. how sad and knowing i have no reasons.
i want to cry adn i need to sleep but knowing in my heart that i will wake up every hour with anxiety that ill be late for work tomorrow makes me want to cry.
 
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